Lack of sleep + Monday = Hysterical

I have just wrapped up one of the best weekends that I can ever recall. I think it's important to put that out there first because much of this blog post will focus on the hangover from that weekend. Friday and Saturday were spent at the first of what will hopefully be many annual Antioch Southern Baptist Church men's retreats. After a full day of devotion, prayer, and fellowship I feel like the rational part of my brain and the emotional part are fully in sync.

I drove just shy of 500 mile yesterday so that I could spend four wonderful hours in Omaha with Lindsay. Some people find that a little on the crazy side but not a single part of me has any doubt that there was any better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

And while some people might think I've lost my mind, at least all the Chiefs fans out there are wishing they had made as wise a choice with their time as I.

However, Monday morning did come just a few short hours after Sunday evening ended and the cascade of slapstick antics that followed would be enough to get a hearty laugh out of even the most stubborn sour puss.

Indicators that you probably are a little too deprived of sleep on a Monday morning...

1. Your first thought of the day is "Screw fresh ground coffee. I'm going out for a programmable coffee maker as soon as I get home from work."

2. While in the shower your brain falls to sleep twice. The first time it does you're in the middle of using your exfoliating cream. The upside is that after fifteen minutes there isn't a single dead skin cell on your body. The downside is that you've also removed the top three layers of living skin cells.

3. Later on you take rinse, later, repeat to the extreme as you can't remember whether or not you washed your hair. I'm not sure how many times I washed mine this morning but I also need to pick up a bottle of shampoo at Walmart when I stop to get the programmable coffee pot.

4. Fresh ground coffee makes better if you actually grind the beans. Apparently adding whole beans to a filter and running the water over them leads to really weak coffee. Honestly though, if I was so asleep that I couldn't remember to grind the beans to make coffee, I probably shouldn't be using equipment that involves sharp blades spinning at high speeds.

5. "Was that four or five tablespoons of sugar? Or was it six? Oh well, one more just to make sure."

6. Among your dreams in the wee hours of the morning is one where the Monkees play a private concert featuring only the song "Pleasant Valley Sunday" which then becomes stuck in your brain all morning. I may not have been conscious enough to make coffee but somehow I was able to remeber quite clearly that, as usual, Michael Nesmith was not performing with the band despite the fact that Peter, Micky, and Davy clearly appeared to be the 1967 versions of themselves (not to mention the fact that I clearly remember 1967 being the year that "Pleasant Valley Sunday" was released).

7. And probably the biggest indicator that you're a little too sleep deprived on a Monday morning: It totally slipped my mind that today was payday until my boss handed me a pay stub 20 minutes ago.

Seriously, who forgets that it's payday?

Of course there's nothing like getting a paycheck to brighten your day. Let's not discuss teacher salaries though.

As I look back on things there is not one thing I regret (except for forgetting my air mattress Friday night--the ground seems to get harder with every passing year though I have no idea why).